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What You Always Suspected About the Other
Guy at Work
Why would a man, aware of his attraction to
other men, choose to marry a woman and live as a heterosexual? We can understand
men from the pre-Stonewall generation deciding to live in accordance with mores
of an earlier time, though in today's world, where many gay men live openly and
honestly, this choice seems needless. But as author David Leddick points out,
our understanding is clouded by our perception of gay men as being either in the
closet or out of the closet.
"Preconceived notions of why gay men marry
must be thrown out the window when you read this book," Leddick reports after
having interviewed 40 men ranging in age from 29 to 88. "Each story provides
very different and individual insights into why gay men marry and whether they
eventually extricate themselves from that arrangement or choose to remain
married."
While it is clear that fear, cultural
isolation, religion, or family expectations can play a large part in a man's
decision to repress his sexuality, many of the men Leddick interviewed express a
strong and sincere desire to cultivate and maintain relationships with
women--and the reasons underlying their choices are far more heartfelt than
society has ever appreciated. Their stories illustrate not only the isolation
and deceit of married men who live secret gay lives but also the triumphant
stories of gay men who have carved out a completely original life plan. Leddick
also makes sure to include the voices of the men's wives, whose attitudes and
responses are equally fascinating.
The Secret Lives of Married Men is an
invaluable addition to the growing body of literature that explores the vast and
varied landscape of today's family.
Anti-homosexual atrocities committed in the West contrast starkly with the
more tolerant traditions of pre-modern China and Japan, as revealed in poetry,
fiction, and art and in the lives of emperors, shoguns, Buddhist priests,
scholars, and actors. In the samurai tradition of Japan, Crompton makes clear,
the celebration of same-sex love rivaled that of ancient Greece.
Sweeping in scope, elegantly crafted, and lavishly illustrated,
Homosexuality and Civilization is a stunning exploration of a rich and
terrible past.
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